As Above, So Below
Dec
20. 2012
It
had not been a routine sort of sighting. On account of the time and
the season, the air controllers had thought at first that it was a
Santa Claus prank. But Santa had never shown up on the radar before,
and the cigar shaped object did not look like a sleigh.
The
Reddest of Red Alerts
It
was definitely alien, and since it refused to identify itself, it was
no doubt of the illegal variety. But it was traveling far too fast to
be any ordinary wetback. By the time that this suspicious craft had
crossed the Rio Grande it had slowed down significantly, but its
airspeed had still been calculated at about mach 3.
The
flight appeared to have originated from somewhere in the Columbian
interior. This in itself aroused concern; the only international
cargoes that got routed through this territory usually involved guns
and narcotics. Air traffic controllers in Oaxaca, Merida, Mexico
City and Guadalahara attempted to establish communication on various
frequencies, in English, Spanish, French, Portuguese, German,
Russian, Chinese, Japanese, and for good measure, Urdu. None of
these efforts had produced a response. The Mexican Air Force had
scrambled, to challenge this strange object’s right to use Mexican
air space. These fighters had been forced down by engine failure
before they had gained enough altitude to get a clear picture, but
they had managed to radio a warning of the air-space violation to
the American bases north of the Rio Grande.
The
luck of the United States Strategic Air Command had not been much
better. The speeding object seemed to be surrounded by an invisible
shield which repulsed their radar signals, their heat seeking
missiles, and every other sort of projectile that they could throw
at it.
It was the reddest of red alerts. The president of the United States
was contacted, and even he was not quite sure what to do.
Waiting for a Chartered Flight
Dr.
Payne was sitting in his office, in the penthouse of a high rise
structure in Dallas which could only be reached by those who had the
correct elevator code, as well as a special key. He had been waiting
for a CIA chartered flight to arrive from Guadalajara to Pinal,
Oregon with heroin and cocaine, which could be transported to the
liberal northeast, and dumped on the gang kids of the cities.
He
heard that the commercial air space had been closed down, and
fretted about what might happen while the precious cargo in which he
had invested sat on a side lane of the International Airport at
Monterrey.
If
this chartered flight were examined by customs inspectors who were
not sufficiently impressed by the credentials of the agents, the
world might become aware of just what the Benevolent Committee For
Canonization of Franco was trying to accomplish in Latin America.
At
this point, Dr. Payne was probably more concerned than the
president. The Secretary of State was visiting Cairo, and the
president was not willing to interrupt her call to hear just to hear
about another UFO incident. Mr. President felt that it was far more
important to find out which way the Jolly Green Giant of Egypt would
be walking. If that Evergreen College Professor were right, and the
New Age of the Mind would become dominant after 2013 – the
critical factor might very well be the influence of the dissidents
who were being released from Islamic prisons on account of the
“Arab” Spring.
One
of Mr. President’s most strategic objectives involved the
cultivation of an emotional alliance between these former prisoners
of conscience, and the Senate and the People of the United States of
America. If this alliance could be brought into being, the UFO’s
would simply have to wait.
The
pilot of the grounded CIA cargo plane shared Dr. Payne’s concern.
He agreed – the cargo contained sacred relics which needed to be
shielded from profane eyes.
A Bible-Belt Jesus Sighting
Pastor
Ebenezer Mc Grady of the Shreveport Louisiana congregation of
Howlers For White Jesus was on his way home when he noticed a rather
strange object bobbing about in the sky. When he looked through his
binoculars, he could see that it was a middle-age man in a business
suit. That man was not hanging from a parachute, but was simply –
flying through the air.
The
word got out and all of the congregation assembled to look at Jesus
flying through the air. Other congregations all through Texas,
Louisiana, Arkansas, and Mississippi also were able to observe the
levitation of Dr. Payne. At this point the Mother Ship of the
Aliens, which had Dr. Payne fixed in a tractor beam, had hidden
herself away behind a cloud. All that the people on the ground
could see were the contrails of the fighter jets that were rocketing
into the stratosphere in order to get a fix on the UFO.
According
to the rumor which began to spread among the True Believers on the
ground, the Second Coming of Jesus was being intercepted by the
military forces of the Zion Occupied Government. By way of damage
control, several military helicopters were dispatched to record the
event on video and – if it were possible – rescue Dr. Payne from
impending abduction. As a result, network television interrupted its
regularly scheduled broadcast for coverage of what was given out to
be the attempt of a group of Southern Christian extremists to launch
their own plastic Jesus. This helium filled, animated Jesus (With
brown hair, light skin, and a business suit, of course) was
scheduled to fly over the Bible Belt, as a signal for the True
Believers to begin their paramilitary operations against ZOG.
Dr.
Payne gestured frantically, but the military helicopters were unable
to get close enough to throw him a rope. They were able to video, as
the operators of the tractor beam turned Dr. Payne unside down and
shook him, until his wallet and his cell phone fell out of his
pockets. Network television warned all of its watchers that these
articles were now the property of NASA, and that anyone who took the
wallet home was risking a visit from the FBI.
